Igniting belief

One of the hardest things to do is believe. Not in the “pump you up, self-help, achieve all your dreams” definition of the word belief.

No, I mean in the “battling years of mental health issues, recovering from trauma and facing your darkest demons” definition of the word belief.

One is superficially motivational and quickly fades away, the other is existential and attached to the deepest corners of our souls and lasts a lifetime and beyond.

The belief I’m talking about is not something my mind is able to grok. It isn’t read in books or found in a speech. It’s not intellectually perceivable.

It’s a feeling. A feeling that comes from somewhere in the depths of the unknown.

As humans we suppress our truth due to the sheer absurdity of what it means to exist as a small speck of dust in a universe so vast and incomprehensible.

Simply existing is the penultimate fear. It’s a fear so enormous that our minds can’t even detect it. We resort to using every type of drug, addiction and disorder of personality to help us hide.

There is an old saying that the truth shall set you free. I'll turn that around and say only those who are free shall find their truth.

Being free means there is nowhere to hide, nor is there anything to accomplish for belief to emerge.

That’s because belief isn’t aspiration, it's effervescence. Something that permeates and radiates from inside of us when the shackles of our deeply conditioned trauma breaks down.

This is why mental health is so important, because mental health isn’t about feeling good. It’s about feeling the truth.

I’m at the place where a new environment is being created. Years of darkness governed every action I've taken work is being done day in and day out and there's a next step.

That step is igniting belief to let the first drop light out.